Education and planning

I offer information and resources and facilitate mortality-related planning of various kinds. Prospective parents engage in pre-natal learning and planning – this is the pre-mortal bookend to that.

In general, end-of-life decisions are best not made at the end of life. Our capacity to communicate clearly and make good decisions at that point – whether we are dying or being with a dying one – is often compromised by symptoms, fatigue, grief and other feelings, and a sense of overwhelm. We are literally operating in an ‘altered state’. In a rushed or crisis scenario, we are less likely to be able to plan and manifest the kind of dying we want.

As a bonus, people often find that making and sharing plans for their end-of-life helps clarify what’s most important in how they want to live now.

My focus is on intention-setting - getting in touch with your own values, hopes and fears – what is most meaningful and important to you. Knowing your options - after all, if you don’t know what your options are, you don’t really have any, do you? And then sharing your wishes with your people. I believe that any planning is better than none, and that people are less likely to manifest their own choices if they don’t tell people what they want. It is far easier to change an existing plan in the immediate aftermath of a death for instance, than it is to conjure one from nothing when you are in that emotional and jumbled state of mind. And it is never too early to start.

This can be really hard stuff – emotional and tiring and overwhelming. We can sit with all those feelings together and work through what needs to be done. Don’t be intimidated – talking about death won’t kill you – and I can help get you started!

Here’s some areas where learning some stuff, talking about it, and making some plans can help ease the whole dying experience:

  • Pre-mortal planning checklist – actually ticking off tasks so your affairs really ARE in order

  • Caregiving - who, where and how…..and what about alternative supports?

  • Comfort care and vigilling – what’s important to you personally while you are dying

  • Self-care/personal support – a circle of support for the dying one or the caregivers - a village

  • Treatment and care choices if you can’t speak for yourself – called advance care planning

  • Comfort/ritual support for Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) – personalizing your exit strategy if this is your choice

  • After death body care – how you want your ‘earthsuit’ cared for – including home funerals

  • Disposition – your final resting place - your options and their ecological footprints

  • Memorialization – funeral, memorial or celebration of life – or something else….

I am not an expert or licensed professional in any of these areas – what I am is an educated facilitator and loving holder of space – I help you prioritize your tasks and support you emotionally and energetically as you walk through them. I can also support you to make decisions in these areas when they are required on short notice and there was no pre-planning. I offer information, guidance, and connection to resources and referrals for all stages – from home care to green burial to grief support.

We can work as it suits you. Some people like to work through stuff systematically with regular check-ins. Others just want one session or access to phone support as and when they need it. And everything in between. Up to you.